
Oh boy....... This week was a little intense. From the most original (about as original as ABC's
The Bachelor can get) entrance to the most awkward date on the face of the earth I was left wanting more (clearly the point of this show). I love that they finally went somewhere that didn't included white sand beaches or rolling around in the ocean. Thanks for stepping up the novelty of the "Fantasy Week". Unfortunately after watching a few seasons of the show I knew that during dinner this week Chris Harrison (even though we, the viewer, never actually see him) will give a "Fantasy Suite" card to Brad to give to each lady; more on that later. Let's get started...
Chantal - Your outfits are killing me. Did ABC make you wear the ridiculous hat while riding in the truck on your safari? I understand you're in Africa and it's hot but seriously, the bow on the side did NOT make it more flattering. (Brad's matching one made this worse). You did your chest a favor (FINALLY!) but then back down you went again during the Rose Ceremony. Alright, enough about your clothes; let's talk about the fact you think Brad is going to protect you from wild animals in the deserts of Africa. WRONG AGAIN! Hippos are notoriously dangerous animals so what made it OK for you to sit and hang out with them at lunch? I'll never know. Let's fast forward through dinner to the proposal of the fantasy suite card. Chantal, you need to pull a page from Ms. Emily's book. Could you have been more eager to get Brad alone in the bedroom? "What happens in the fantasy suite stays in the fantasy suite." Really? You used a dirty Vegas line about one-night-stands to describe your alone time with a man that you're looking to marry? However, the fantasy suite tree house was ridiculously awesome! (I am in no way giving credit to Chantal for this it just happened to be on her fantasy date). I would be concerned about wild animals eating me in the night but other than that, I was way impressed by ABC's originality. (I should note that you're not the fan favorite and I'm still miffed about the fact that you slapped Brad, let alone anyone, the second you met him. RUDE!)
Emily - My lady-friend crush on you is starting to freak everyone out. In my eyes you can do no wrong, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You're real, beautiful, kind, nurturing... I could go on but I digress... LOVED LOVED LOVED your outfit on both day-date and dinner-date. I think I need your fashion advice in my life. I think it's sweet that Brad gets so nervous around you and I'm so happy that you finally opened up about your feelings for him. I know it's scary, but it's scary whether or not you're on television or not. I'm glad that Brad has the same feelings for you and I'm also glad he shared, makes me like you two together even more than before. Don't get me wrong, I still think you're too good for him, but if you were the one in the end I wouldn't be disappointed. I'm also happy with the fact that you were vocal about your acceptance of Brad into Ricky's life. You are clearly protective but Brad wants "the package deal" (Super points for Brad on this one). Soooooo, about that fantasy suite card... I'm glad that you decided to spend time with Brad and you prefaced it by saying you need to be a role model for your daughter. I gotta lay into ya for this one a little bit though, I felt like you were covering you a** just a smidgen. But that's OK, you're a mom and that's something that you needed to do. Didn't so much care for your dress at the rose ceremony though, sorry.
And the doozy...
Ashley - You are too cute and your excitement upon seeing Brad was adorable and that's about where I stop with the positive on you. Your outfit on day date made me wonder if you are 16. Cut-off jeans with the pockets hanging out? Honey, I know you're a student but that doesn't mean you shouldn't dress like a woman your age. Your reaction to the helicopter was insane; I don't mean "so great and I wanted to hug you out of love" insane. You acted like a buffoon. Really? Running away seemed like the most appropriate reaction to being flown around and getting the most amazing tour of Africa ever? Well, you were wrong. Anyway... your conversation with Brad shouldn't have been so hard to have. You were the front-runner for so long that it was hard for me to watch you make such a fool of yourself. Let's get into dinner. (I lied earlier, I liked you dinner-date outfit too.) I have to congratulate you on successfully making my fiance burrow his head into a throw pillow like an ostrich to avoiding watching you make yourself look like such a moron. I wanted to duct tape your mouth shut. It seemed like you were trying to make Brad lose interest. Self sabotage? I think so. You made me cringe the entire time. All of the air was let out of your little love balloon and it just drifted away into nothingness. When you're talking about other things that you've done together because there is nothing else to talk about, you know it's headed in a bad direction. And then there was the fantasy suite card. You could have knocked me over with a feather when Brad handed you the card. I thought for sure he wasn't even going to bring it up (you can add that to the list of mistakes made on this date). So you said yes, huh? WHY? Why would you do that to yourself? I've been on some awkward dates and guess what? Prolonging them isn't on the list of things to do! And then, as if this wasn't already bad enough, you brought up mosquito nets! OMG! I almost had to change the channel. And then there was a rose ceremony, or lack there of; the entire population of the United States of America knew you weren't getting picked so how did you think it "came out of nowhere" and why were you so surprised? Are you that naive or could you just not think of anything else to say? Either way, I was embarrassed for you.
So, in the end I'm pretty happy with the girls that are left but I can't help but feel that neither one is quite right for Brad. Wouldn't it just be phenomenal if we had a déjà-vu moment and he picked no one! Oh boy. Actually, I think I might lose the respect, small but potent respect, for ABC's
The Bachelor. Oh, and also, I know that last week I said I was excited for the girls to meet Brad's family but I was ahead of myself with that one. This week I'm extra excited because there were NO previews with his family in them. Should make for a great week! Plus we've got all the rejects from the rest of the season. BRING ON THE CRAZY TRAIN!!!